If you're reading this message, then you've probably either decoded the spectrogram or got the server code from someone else. Either way, your interest in my work must've led you here. For that, I thank you. Thank you for taking the time to look into this world I've built. I am happy that I was able to share my garden with you. Whether these flowers are beautiful red poppies or unwanted dirty ragweed, I can't tell. But I hope you've enjoyed these blossoms and the work I've put into them.
As days pass, I find myself growing unhappy with my state of being. Making these albums and creating these worlds have given me a platform on which I can express myself and release my feelings. Although I struggled to shape something I found beautiful, I think I was happy back then, building worlds a delineation of my mind. Whilst creating, I found myself a good bit of success and a following. I enjoyed interacting with these people and I've had fun with the friends I have made in this community. However, as I grow older and enter the next stages of my life, I've become increasingly aware that my days left are short.
I know that what I feel are simple growing pains every person goes through. But for me, these pains are severe, and I don't know how to deal with them anymore. When I look into my future, I see two paths: a short path that stops abruptly at a cliff, and a long, barren, sullen, foreboding path full of misery and servitude. My creations have only been a way for me to distract myself from this eventual choice I will have to make. Now that I am older, I have finally reached this crossroad.
I don't feel happy doing anything anymore, and I am so tired. I would talk to my friends, but I feel like they don't enjoy my company and I doubt think they would understand or accept the things I feel. I used to pride myself on my independence and my ability to remain steadfast without the emotional support of others, but I've been deprived of proper human contact and comfort for so long its beginning to hurt. Even so, I am too afraid to reach out because I don't want to push boundries and I'm too prideful and mistrustful to show them vulnerability.
I don't know which path to take. Thinking about it gives me so much anxiety. I don't want to think about it, and so my mind shuts off whenever I think about the future. It is a very unpleasant experience. My future seems so sullen, and I don't know what to do anymore. I am so tired, so very tired, and I want to rest. Alas, this world waits for nobody and soon I will be thrust into the world of adulthood so long as I remain alive.
I don't want to think about it, and because I don't want to think about it I will be retreating back to my creations and producing another album, a continuation of this first one. I hope you will be around by the time I finish it. So far I have little idea of how I want this album to go, but I hope you will wait patiently until the day you can enjoy it.
Did I tell you I am a liar? This album will probably never come to light. As days pass my energy evaporates, I've hardly any vigor to perform normal daily activities. Any vitality left is spent on the academia I slave to. I am afraid of disappointing you and I am afraid of disappointing myself. People tell me to relax and to take care of myself, but I don't know how to. Even if I could, I shouldn't because I must remain productive. This is just the way I am.
Thank you for taking interest in my work. Thank you for listening to the album, whether you only listened to the first 6 minutes before dropping out or sat through the entire hour. Thank you whether you only know me for my music, my website, or my games. I am happy that you've graced me with your attention, and with the last bits of it I wish you are good life. I hope that you can find an existence you find delightful. Thank you, be happy.